A picture can make you feel a thousand thoughts...................

Years ago, a good friend, Debbie Phillips, told me something that I have never forgotten.  She said that she keeps a picture of her husband when he was a little boy in a special place so that she can be reminded about ‘the little boy inside him’ when they are at odds with one another.

I never forgot it, but I didn’t remember it either.

Does that make sense?

It impacted me when she said it WAAAAY back then, but I never acted on it.

I should’ve.

Alas, all of these years later I did!  I recently asked my husband’s mother for some baby pictures (we had a few, but mostly of when he was a bit older). 

I placed the picture I chose amidst two special rocks I was recently given by ANOTHER good friend, Jill Loomis.  One rock says ‘hope’ and the other says ‘strength.’ 

When I gaze at the picture, which I often do, I am able to hold Jesse in a special place inside my heart.  A loving and nurturing space.  One that understands that he was once a tiny baby who has suffered wounds and painful moments. 

I’m then able to love him more fully and with a deeper understanding. 

So.............I strongly encourage you to  go dig up that baby picture of your partner and keep it close!  

Write me a letter!

Okay, so I’m sitting here watching Kathy Lee and Hoda.  They just showed some cute Valentine ideas to give to your partner.   One of the items is a journal called ‘Between You And Me.’   

Guess what?

Jesse and I have been journaling back and forth to each other (on and off) since our first year of marriage 14 years ago!

I have absolutely NO idea why we started, but we must’ve been onto something because clearly it’s a ‘thing.’

Here’s how it works: 

1. Get a journal.
2. Write down your appreciations, upsets, things you’d like to work on between you.
3. Put the journal underneath your partners pillow.
4. Your partner reads your entry.
5. Your partner writes his/her entry.
6. Your partner puts the journal underneath YOUR pillow

Just so you know, my husband and I  journaled like crazy in the BEGINNING of our marriage and then little by little, the entries were written farther and farther apart until we completely stopped writing. 

Until………..

We started again!  In the fall, after a VERY rough patch in our marriage, we started writing in our journal again and you know what? 

IT FEELS WONDERFUL!

Women's AND Men's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raise your hand if, when you got your first period, your mother threw a box of Kotex Pads at you and grunted, “Now you’re a woman!” while doing the laundry.  Oh wait, that was ME!

Guess what!  I was so very let down by my mother’s response to SUCH an important event in my life I decided that, when I had girls,  I  would CELEBRATE that milestone with them!    So……….Starting with Natasha, I began a tradition called “Women’s Day” (I got the idea from The Cosby Show)! 

What’s “Women’s Day”.........?  When one of my girls gets her period,  not only does she know what’s happening (we’ve talked about it a LOT prior to) she gets to CELEBRATE it!  She gets to choose the activity (movie, restaurant, arcade, pedicures, etc) that we do together. 

I have to say that I HAVE LOVED DOING WOMEN’S DAY WITH MY DAUGHTERS!!!!!!!!!! 

Here’s a twist………..Several months back, when we were all discussing this event, Moses asked, “What about me?”  Oh my GOSH, I had NEVER thought about BOYS! 

So, I said to him (and to Malick),  “You guys will have “Man’s Day” with Dad when you turn 13 years old!”   

Here’s the thing……….There are many cultures that honor certain milestones in children’s lives.  Apart from some religious ceremonies, our culture really drops the ball in that department.

I think it would be great if we could ALL implement some kind of ‘coming of age’ ceremony into our children’s lives at the beginning of young adulthood.  It’s such a special time and it’s a sweet opportunity to connect with your child on a different level.

For Maeve’s “Women’s Day” today she asked if we could go see the movie “Frozen” and then have supper at a restaurant.  So………..We did!  During that time, I told her:  “You are beautiful and so very kind and amazingly artistic and you have some terrific character qualities such as her capacity to truly care for others and to always be on the look out for how she can help do the next thing.”  We talked about how at this age, boys and girls are all so self conscious (too developed/not developed enough) and are trying on all sorts of personas in a quest to figure our exactly who they are, etc.  It’s a fun time of exploration and discovery.  This mindset is important to share with your daughter/son at this juncture because this stage can feel very overwhelming and intimidating. 

Viva La Women’s AND Men’s Day!