Amish Wisdom!

 

YEARS ago, while canning peaches with my Amish friend Sylvia, I heard her mother use the expression “Many hands make light work.”  Have you heard that one?  I love the way that phrase sounds (it’s soft and playful).  I equally love it’s meaning (the more help the easier and quicker any job can get done). 

As you know we have MANY hands at our house.  They are used for chores AND for <get ready for THIS stroke of genius>  SUPPER PREPARATION! 

I have absolutely NO CLUE why the concept of having children help with supper just dawned on me!  I was noticing that it was a challenge for me to pick the kids up from school at 4:00, get home at 4:30 and then have supper on the table by 6:00.   So,  I asked for some assistance and BOY did I ever get some!  After they are done with their evening chores, they pitch right in with the chopping, stirring, cutting and more!  

I’ve said it before  and I’ll say it again:  Giving children good, solid, meaningful work is such a gift for them!  Their self esteems are strengthened as are their wills.  Plus, it’s a great opportunity to have unstructured conversations and enjoy one another’s company. 

I’m only kicking myself that I didn’t tap into this ‘many hands’ in the kitchen deal before now!

Falling In Love At The Library!

Okay this is a letter to the editor that I wrote about a BEEEEAUTIFUL experience between me, my children and a LOVELY librarian!

Dear Ruthie,

Seriously, when was the last time you heard anyone talk about an INCREDIBLE and TRANSCENDING experience at a public library?

*I* had one of those experiences at The Wimberley Library!

Some of my 8 children and I were turning in/checking out books yesterday.  In typical fashion, we needed to pay a late fee.  I only had a one hundred dollar bill and was told that I couldn't use it to pay the nearly $40 fee and therefore the children couldn't check out any of their chosen books that day. 

Suddenly, a SUPER HERO (who 'gets' the big picture) named Kristina Minor, rushed over and took on our case!  She cheerfully said, "No worries at ALL.  Just bring in the money the next time you visit."  She then proceeded to check us out in THE most friendly and kind and good humored way EVER!  She said that her goal is for people to READ and why in the HECK would she send people home BOOKLESS?! 

When she finished our check out, I walked over to her, gave her a HUGE hug and said, "I *will* pay this forward!"

Sincerely,

Maria Verroye

So…………..One of the ways I’m paying it forward is by sharing this story with YOU so that you, in turn, will feel inspired to pay it forward in YOUR community! 

A little kindness can go a VERY long way! 

Happy Birthday Damnit!

 

There are many ways to celebrate birthdays.  Often, parents repeat the traditions of THEIR childhood or they create an event that they wished they had had OR they feel pressure to host a big bash (a ‘keeping up with the Jones deal’ or complicated feelings of guilt as a result of a divorce, etc). 

Have you ever been to a birthday party where you were instantly on overload?  Children running wild?  Ripped wrapping paper scattered all around, kids who are either crying or shouting? 

Let’s face it, children’s birthday parties can sometimes be overwhelming to plan and equally overwhelming to attend (for both children AND parents).

Well I’m here to tell you that I think all parents should unite and start an “Unbirthday Movement!”  What do I mean by ‘unbirthday’………….

Well, I’m not a scrooge and I do like acknowledging my children’s birthdays, but I’m not a big fan of making the event what I call ‘a thrill a minute.’ 

You know the drill……….Too many children (a good rule of thumb is to invite no more than one child for each year of the birthday child – If the child is turning 3, then invite 3 or less children). Too many activities (think old fashioned ideas like Pin The Tail On The Donkey or Apple Bobbing).  Too much indulgence (including ‘goodie bags’ for the attendees – WHO INVENTED THAT IDEA!?!?!?!?!).

I’ll give you an example of that madness:  When my brother was turning five, my parents thought it would be a GRAND idea to invite 15 little boys over for the big event.  About 7 minutes in, it was utter chaos which included my brother biting each and every attendee.  Hahahahahahah! No goodie bag for YOU, just teeth marks on your arm!

Here’s what we do at OUR house……………..We ask the birthday child if they would like a gift or an experience.  By gift, we do indeed mean ONE present.  By experience, pretty much anything within reason goes. 

So, for instance, Maeve will be turning 13 in October and she has asked to have an experience.  Jesse and I will be taking her and three of her friends on a horse trail ride.  Other children have gone on a zip line and to the zoo while others have asked for a gift like Moses who requested a metal detector for his 11^th birthday or Neve who asked for a stuffed animal. 

Don’t get me wrong, our kids LOVE going to birthday parties that are off the chain - At least for the first 10 minutes. After a short bit, they are either overwhelmed or cranky or tired.  They can recognize when things feel too out of control and are bothered by it. 

So what’s my take home message………..?  I’m suggesting  that when you consider throwing a birthday party for your child, remember these four things:   Pared down, simple, short and sweet.  

Poop Happens!

 

It’s called “The Poop Suit” for a reason.  A very GOOD reason!

I’ll bet ALL of you have heard stories about toddlers (1 year olds – 2 years olds) who have ‘painted’ their cribs, their bodies or their bedroom walls with POOP, right?  I imagine many of you have experienced these little ‘Poopcassos’ in action first hand.   The experience can be both hilarious AND frustrating. 

 So………..Twenty five years ago, I invented something called “The Poop Suit” to help make an issue a non-issue.

So what am I getting at here? 

When my oldest child, Natasha turned about 1, she began taking off her clothes ALL OF THE TIME, especially during naptime.

This is a normal stage and it’s actually really good practice for the child who is learning how to put on/take off his/her own clothing. 

The problem with doing it during naptime is that when there are no longer clothes and a diaper on the child, the pee and poo ends up on the floor, mattress, walls and all over the child who is both curious and delighted with this situation.

To keep my children clean and safe during naptime, I invented a special outfit  (zipper up the back) that I put on over top their clothes right before naptime (see picture below).

Why?  Because then there’s no worry and no clean up.  The child can relax and enjoy naptime and the parents can feel confident that the child will rest comfortably and CLEANLY. 

If you’d like to know more about “The Poop Suit” or would like to order one for your child, as a gift to new parents or as a first birthday present, please contact me at mariaverroye@gmail.com

Do NOT create a monster!

 

Let’s be honest, sometimes whining can drive you to drink.  The ability to whine begins after about the first year (I forget exactly when) and NEVER STOPS!  Hahahahaha!

Seriously now, you can REALLY minimize your child’s whining and here’s how:

1. Pay attention to the rhythm of your day to day life – Children thrive on routine which calms them.
2. Pay attention to their blood sugar (they need to eat at least five times a day)
3. Pay attention to their sleeping/napping schedule (depending on their age, they need to take one or two naps each and every day as well as a get a good night sleep)
4. Pay attention to your own communication style.  Do YOU whine?
5. Pay attention to them.  If they are trying to communicate, be patient and give them a chance to express themselves.
6. Pay attention to whether or not you unknowingly encourage their whining by not addressing them right away (even to say “Just one moment.”)
7. Pay attention to whether or not they are feeling ill or are cutting a tooth or have begun a new routine (daycare or school or camp).

Establish a no-whining-policy and then STICK TO IT!  How do you do this?  Well, when the child whines, you either ignore him/her (if you’ve previously addressed them and they continue to whine) OR you say, “Use your regular voice”  “I can’t understand you when you whine.”   “Use a big girl/big boy voice.” 

The tricky part is that it can be VERY tempting to ‘give in’ to a whining child (picture yourself in the check out line at the grocery store where there is yummy candy all around and your child WANTS some and starts WHINING and you don’t want to hear the whining so you CAVE and give him/her the candy).  DON’T GIVE IN!

Giving in sets the stage for <wait for it> MORE WHINING!  Hence, NEVER giving in sets the stage for VERY minimal whining in the future and THAT’S a beautiful thing!

Thank GOD for Juliette!

 

Choose a designated ‘Baby Book Writer’ or you WILL regret it!  Here’s a true confession……………Twenty six years ago (when my first child, Natasha, was born) I wrote and wrote and WROTE in her baby book – Burps and tummy time and nursing and rashes and more!

A mere 19 months later, when Juliette was born, I wrote about half  as much even though she was just as adorable and exciting!   Four years later, when Chloe was born, I wrote about four things  TOTAL in her book!  Yep, that’s the sad truth. <hanging my head in shame>

So, when Maeve was born (seven years after Chloe), Juliette volunteered to be our families ‘designated baby book writer’.  Okay, what does that mean? She was in charge of writing down as many moments/words/phrases/activities/events/milestones as she could remember (and thankfully she has a SUPERB memory)! 

Anyway, her writing in those FIVE books has been her gift to me for MANY MANY  Christmases, Birthdays, Mother’s Days and more!  I’m not making that up!  It has been a true GIFT that she’s written in those darn baby books.   It’s been priceless.

So, as a shout out to Juliette………………..THANK YOU!

As for you, I encourage you to write as often as you are able because as much as you think you’ll remember the cute little diddies you will not.  Trust me. 

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

 

You can NEVER pick up a baby too much!  EVER!   So whatever you’ve read before, please disregard that information. 

When a baby cries it stirs something in a parent.  It hurts our brains because it’s supposed to.  It’s a call to action. 

Please go to the baby and pick it up and hold it and sway with it and love it. 

You are establishing something VERY important.  It’s called attachment/trust.

It is NOT spoiling.

Spoiling comes later.  Do not fret about it during the child’s first year of life.

When a baby cries, it needs something:  A diaper change, rocking, feeding, burping, movement, a change of scenery. 

If you meet those needs, you are establishing trust.  The baby will trust that you will meet his needs.

This connection is CRITICAL to a child’s development. 

So, enjoy and hug and love and EAT THAT BABY UP!