As Oprah would say..............Don't be a 'shlumpadinka'!!!

 

This is for ALL parents (brand new AND veterans)

Have you ever:

• Felt like a frumpy dump
• Found yourself wearing what I call (thanks to my friend, Laurie Seigh who coined the term) ‘Sleep ‘n Plays’- which are essentially pajamas – to work/play/grocery store/etc.
• Forgotten to brush your teeth for the 3^rd or 4^th day in a row
• Walked around in mom/dad jeans and thought it was a step-up from your usual ‘Sleep ‘n Plays’
• Worn bedroom slippers for a quick trip to the store (come on, you know you have)
• Sported pretend eyeglasses because you didn’t have the time to put on makeup and you thought the glasses would be a ‘disguise’
• Put your hair into a wet ponytail so many times that it started to mildew
• Became disconnected with yourself
• Became disconnected with your spouse
• Started to feel like just the co-worker of your wife/husband
• Lost your zip
• Stopped caring

If you’re anything like me, you probably could relate to most if not ALL of the aforementioned statements; except for the one about the eyeglasses cause that’s just plain weird.  Ahem.

I chose to write about losing yourself (as a person/parent/spouse) because GUESS WHAT, FOLKS it happened to me and I want to wake you up if you’ve lost YOURSELF! 

This topic came up today in – where else – carpool line!  I was talking with my friend who is the married mother of 3, including a 15 month old.  She and her husband are farmers.  She told me about a scene where she pleaded with her husband, “I just want to feel like a feminine flower!!!!!!!!!”  This immediately made me think of a book I’ve read by David Deida called ‘The Way Of The Superior Man.’  In it, he talks about ‘blooming your woman into a beautiful flower’ and ‘loving her into radiance.’ 

It’s soooo important for parents (who are no doubt ‘in the weeds’ of child rearing) to remember that they are men and women who have needs/desires/wants.  It is essential that these thoughts and feelings are voiced and dealt with.    If you continue to be duty bound and back burner yourself and your relationship it WILL come back to haunt you. 

So how do you accomplish this?

 

Well, the first thing is to begin a dialogue. Help each other identify what’s going well for each of you and what’s not going well.  Draw up a plan:

• How can we simplify?
• Where can we use some extra help?
• How can we carve out more adult-alone-time?
• How can we support one anothers need for space?

You get the picture, right?  It’s about figuring out how to – get ready for my favorite word – TWEAK your schedule/lives so that BOTH mom and dad feel appreciated/loved/desired. 

Trust me, DO THIS NOW and you will never, ever, ever, ever (not even in a million years) regret it!