Cheerful Confidence!

Last year, I asked Maeve (my 12 year old) to begin walking Bette (my 5 year old) into her kindergarten class each day.  After a rough first attempt, Maeve didn’t want to do it again the following day.  I told her that not only did she HAVE to do the job; she had to do it with ‘cheerful confidence.’   

What is ‘cheerful confidence,’ you ask?  Well………….It’s a state of mind that I believe is essential for parents to be in when mindfully raising children.  It is being confident about your decisions (not second-guessing yourself  or giving in to demands or tantrums)  and leading your children in a joyful way (with regards to  behaviors, homework, chores, etc).

So, for example, imagine you’re visiting the zoo with your kids.  Before you even get out of the car you announce  to your children – with great confidence -   that although they may look at the gift shop items, no one will be buying anything on that day.  This announcement is made joyfully,  (“We are not buying any items today, but we might another time.”)  not punitively  (“No one’s getting a toy or any other crappy souvenir EVER!”).   When the time comes to leave the gift shop be sure that – on that day at least – NO ONE GETS A DARN THING!

BIG REMINDER:  You must not go back on your word!  THAT is being confident in your decision-making!  Parental confidence is one of THE most  important keys to raising children who will follow the rules (with some pushing the limits from time to time of course) and feel safe and secure doing so. 

So, back to Maeve.................She learned that if she uses the old ‘joyful confidence’ routine, Bette happily follows her into the classroom each and every time!  As my mom would say, “Wala!”  <my apologies to each and every French person I know>