You don't have to be a Cirque Du Soleil performer to FIND YOUR BALANCE!

Why do I keep thinking that this ‘balancing’ thing will ever be accomplished?  Who am I kidding?   That said,  just because it’s in a constant state of flux and feels overwhelming doesn’t mean it can’t be managed. 

Okay, so what do I mean by balancing?  

To me, balancing means juggling………….Are you meeting your children’s needs (physical AND emotional), are you providing wholesome and nutritious meals,  are you keeping up with the household chores, are you working on your relationship with your spouse, are you spending time with friends, are you addressing your personal health needs including your emotional ones,  are you doing your best work on the job (if you are working outside the home for a company or working from home for that same company or as an entrepreneur) and more! 

If you’re like me, you can identify with at LEAST five things on this list.  I don’t know about you, but just reading it makes me feel EXHAUSTED and OVERWHELMED!

So……….Now what?

We’ve identified the things we NEED to balance, but how do we FIND the balance?  I think one way to start is to generate your own lists:  1.  A ‘needs’ list  2.  A ‘to do’ list.

The needs list should have what I would call ‘self care’ items on it:  Write down the things that would nourish you on a daily/weekly/monthly basis such as 1.  A monthly pedicure 2.  A weekly girls night out  3.  A daily phone call with a girlfriend  4. An exercise schedule  5.  Friday date night with your husband.

The to-do list should have items on it  that must get done on a daily/weekly/monthly basis such as:  1.  Clean the house  2.  Make supper  3.  Take kids to school.

Okay, so you’ve generated your lists.  Great!   Next up is figuring out “negotiables.”

What are negotiables, you ask?  Those are areas that can be tweaked (and tweaked again as necessary).  For example, if your morning routine (getting yourself and your children ready and out the door) is overwhelming and makes you want to cry,  enlist the help of your husband.   Sounds simple, right?   It IS and it truly could mean the difference between feeling tearful and resentful to feeling refreshed and ready for the challenges of the day!  Another example is negotiating meals.  Instead of thinking that you have to lay down hot, delicious meals each night, serve up simpler fare such as soup/sandwiches or take out.  Trust me, KIDS DON’T CARE and NOR SHOULD YOU! 

The same goes for cleaning the house.  If you can hire a weekly/monthly cleaning person, then DO IT!  If you can’t then LET IT GO!  Do the bare minimal cleaning as a family (if your children are five or older, assign them daily/weekly/monthly chores).  Trust me, our household could not run as smoothly without the help of five of our children. 

Ask around, NO ONE feels that they are balancing or juggling well.  We’re all swimming in the same soup in that regard.  Just know that NO ONE CARES about how clean your house is, how well you ironed your business suit, if your children have jelly on their face, etc. 

Shave off any unnecessary tasks and get help (babysitting co-ops, grandparents, cleaning person, carpool, take-out meals, spousal support).  Remind yourself often about what is truly important (your self care, your relationship with your spouse and with your  children).  Tweak the schedule/routine when it feels like it’s not working for you/your family anymore. 

And remember that when you are starting something new (a new job, school year, summer break, new baby, etc) GO EASY ON YOURSELF!  Do the bare minimum and conserve your energy.  Those are the times to rally the troops.  Ask a friend or a family member to help out (making a few meals or schlepping children to and from school). 

Lastly, DO THESE THINGS because……………I did NOT do these things when I was in the weeds of parenting lots of small children and I sure wish I had!  As Oprah would say:  When you know better, you do better.