Happy Birthday Damnit!

 

There are many ways to celebrate birthdays.  Often, parents repeat the traditions of THEIR childhood or they create an event that they wished they had had OR they feel pressure to host a big bash (a ‘keeping up with the Jones deal’ or complicated feelings of guilt as a result of a divorce, etc). 

Have you ever been to a birthday party where you were instantly on overload?  Children running wild?  Ripped wrapping paper scattered all around, kids who are either crying or shouting? 

Let’s face it, children’s birthday parties can sometimes be overwhelming to plan and equally overwhelming to attend (for both children AND parents).

Well I’m here to tell you that I think all parents should unite and start an “Unbirthday Movement!”  What do I mean by ‘unbirthday’………….

Well, I’m not a scrooge and I do like acknowledging my children’s birthdays, but I’m not a big fan of making the event what I call ‘a thrill a minute.’ 

You know the drill……….Too many children (a good rule of thumb is to invite no more than one child for each year of the birthday child – If the child is turning 3, then invite 3 or less children). Too many activities (think old fashioned ideas like Pin The Tail On The Donkey or Apple Bobbing).  Too much indulgence (including ‘goodie bags’ for the attendees – WHO INVENTED THAT IDEA!?!?!?!?!).

I’ll give you an example of that madness:  When my brother was turning five, my parents thought it would be a GRAND idea to invite 15 little boys over for the big event.  About 7 minutes in, it was utter chaos which included my brother biting each and every attendee.  Hahahahahahah! No goodie bag for YOU, just teeth marks on your arm!

Here’s what we do at OUR house……………..We ask the birthday child if they would like a gift or an experience.  By gift, we do indeed mean ONE present.  By experience, pretty much anything within reason goes. 

So, for instance, Maeve will be turning 13 in October and she has asked to have an experience.  Jesse and I will be taking her and three of her friends on a horse trail ride.  Other children have gone on a zip line and to the zoo while others have asked for a gift like Moses who requested a metal detector for his 11^th birthday or Neve who asked for a stuffed animal. 

Don’t get me wrong, our kids LOVE going to birthday parties that are off the chain - At least for the first 10 minutes. After a short bit, they are either overwhelmed or cranky or tired.  They can recognize when things feel too out of control and are bothered by it. 

So what’s my take home message………..?  I’m suggesting  that when you consider throwing a birthday party for your child, remember these four things:   Pared down, simple, short and sweet.